Feeling.........

Tired, cranky, ticked off, pushed away, not part of, left out and discouraged! That about sums things up in my world!

I definitely need a break from everything. It would be so nice if I could just get away for a few days...sadly it is not financially possible. So I will do the next best thing and just keep to myself until I can sort out these feelings.

The last thing I want to do is say or do something I will be sorry for. So I think I will just have a "vacation from life" for a few days and sort out my feelings and what I can do about them. I'm tired of feeling like everything I say or do is wrong or in some type of battle. I will take my share of the blame but I certainly won't be a martor and take it all. Something needs to give pretty soon or I will do what I have always done when things get like this...simply walk away. Easier in some situations then others (like when its your kids) but I don't think I can take anymore.

There is an old saying that says something like "its better to be alone and lonely then with others and feel lonely". Those aren't the exact words but is pretty accurate on how I am feeling.

So don't I just sound like a happy ray of sunshine!

Until next post be happy and appreciate those that love you...I know I am going to :)

And The New Year Is Off To A Good Start!

Well my previous post had some mention of things I would like to accomplish in 2011. Some will take a longer time to complete but some I am happy to report have been crossed of the list! Small accomplishments but accomplished never-the-less :)

I have finally (after 3 years) started my L&L Angel of Healing! That is my BIG piece I am working on. I am till plugging away at my Ink Circles pattern and have picked up the supplies for a really cute sampler and I've orderd another pattern from my local stitching store that will be in next week. So there are my 4 projects I wanted to work on. The plan is to work on one for a week then switch to another for a week and so one. The intent is to keep me interested and if nothing else give the illusion I am actually accomplishing some progress! Monday is my "switch day"..this week it has been the Angel I am working on. I don't know if she has a name given to her already but I am calling her "Louise" after my mom. It is in her memory that I am working on it so it seems only fitting :) I'll keep you posted on the progress and someday when I figure out how to post pics I'll do that to haha

In other updates I have gone back to WW to help me shed some unwanted weight. It has worked for me in the past so I'm hoping with some hard work and determination I can be successful again. I need to get out and exercise more too....I'm currently looking at some options for that...but holy crap gym memberships are not cheap! I may have to resort to "mall walking" during the winter. Althoug I l ike the idea of going to some type of fitness class too. For right now I am just going to concentrate on getting my eating habits under control and in a couple weeks I'll get to the exercise part....baby steps for me!

Other then that not much new going on her. My son is moved out and in with his friends so I have some quiet back haha. We certainly have been getting lots of snow lately and I'm not a fan f that..but it IS winter so I guess I should expect that

Well it time for stitching I think and my favorite TV channel...The Food Network! I love those shows!

Till next post smile often...if nothing else it makes everyone wonder what you are up to! :)

Happy 2011!

Here we are....another year over and a new one beginning. Lots of wonderful things happened in 2010 and some not so good. I am doing my best to focus on the good things and say goodbye to the bad.

I seem to be starting off the New Year a bit off balance. I have no doubt I will find my feet again...I usually do. There are things I want to work on in myself, my home, my job, my life. One thing at a time I will hopefully cross things off of my list. Yes I made a list! Not "resolutions" but just a list of things I would like to do/see/accomplish/achieve in the year ahead. With some determination and putting one foot in front of the other I know I can do it!

I've spent the last 2 days upset and crying over things that are happening. My feelings got hurt and that is never fun. I was thinking yesterday and I actually had a "ah ha" moment! Funny how all of sudden the light just comes on and things you have been driving yourself crazy over just up and slaps ya in the head! haha....Me being me when my feelings get hurt or I feel like I'm being left out my immediate reaction is to put up walls. Now anyone that knows me knows my walls do NOT come down very often or easily. So it is an absolute sign of trust when I do let it down and let anyone in. This is with any type of relationship (romantic, friendship, family, etc.). Is it the best way to react to those situations? NOPE! But its how I have done it for years and old habits are very hard to break! I am going to try a different approach tho and just let it go and do what I can to help myself get thru this rough patch...that is really all I can do and hope things will work themselves out. I have faith and trust that they will :)

I will be starting my "healthier me" plan again! It didn't work out so well last year but thats ok..I'll put the chips and dip down yet again and start over haha...I swear I have no idea how they seem to end up in my grocery cart...my theory is someone in the store puts them there when I'm not looking and then I don't see them when they go thru the cash..not sure how accurate that is but you never know! haha...The old saying "if you feel good on the inside the outside will follow" is my inspiration for this...that and the fact my health is suffering a bit..nothing life threatening or too too serious but I need to take care of myself before it does get out of hand. I'm going to go into it with no real expectations other then to make better choices and get some exercise in. Will I still find those pesky bags of chips in my grocery cart? OF COURSE!!! It just won't be every week haha...Moderation..something I have trouble with haha

I'm also going to work on getting out more. I am single and would love to change that and one thing I have discovered is that that is not going to happen with me sitting home all the time. Surprise of all surprises they aren't just coming up and knocking on my door! So I am going to get out more and hopefully that will help things along.

My little apartment could use some TLC so that is another thing I am going to work on. I am going to take one room at at time and pick up everything I would like to do in that room and then do it! My first room is the bathroom...1. because its the smallest and will be a good one to start off with and 2. it really needs some love haha

In the stitching department I am finally (after 3 years of having it around) going to start my "Angel of Healing". As soon as I figure out how to post pics and such on the blog I will do that. It won't be the only project I work on. I tend to get fed up and bored if I don't switch projects out here and there. But at least it will finally be started..kind of appropriate project to start considering how I have been feeling lately..I just thought of that..huh!

So thats whats been going on with me and thats what is going to be going on with me. I'm not much of a writter and my words don't make much sense to most I'm sure. I just write what my fingers type most times and hope for the best haha

So until next post may the New Year bring all of you lots of happiness, good health, love and laughter!