It's Been Forever!

I haven't written anything in so long! So much has happend and changed that it would take forever and far to many pages to write it all!
I have moved into a larger apartment and am very happy here. Its nice to be able to invite people over and have a place for them to sit. My previous place was just way to small to ever have company. I didn't realzie how much I missed having people over until I started doing it again!

I'm still stitching and just finished a small project for my son...I'll try and post a pic as soon as I figure out how! I still have way to many projects on the go but thats my crazy way of doing things I guess.

I have so much I want to talk about.....if for no other reason then to get things off my chest but I need to think it thru a bit more before posting.

One thing I will say....I have been given a very rude awakening lately regarding who my friends are and who I can depend on. It never ceases to amaze me how the people you think will always be there for you are suddenly gone from your life and treat the most hurtful and then  here I am wondering what I have done to deserve it. Do I think it can be fixed? No unfortunately I don't. Too many things have happened, been said and the damage has been done.

I'm not the trusting type..ask anyone that knows me...but I did trust these individuals completely. I guess thats what hurts the most is knowing my trust has been broken....along with my heart.

I was always the type to be very distrustful and played my cards close to the chest...I think its time to go back to those roots. At least until I can regain some trust in myself and my ability to know who I can trust again.

I am more grateful then words can say for the friends that are supporting me right now. It means more to me then I could ever say.

Life moves on and lessons have been learned....the hard way! Which is usually how I learn :(

I'm Frozen!!!!

Well at least my shoulder is!!! :( Not sure if anyone has ever had frozen shoulder before but let me tell you it friggin hurts!!! Imagine a really really really bad toothache that just throbs all the time...now multiply that by 100...and voila! Thats what frozen shoulder feels like! A never ending throb/ache that just never stops. I'm going for massage therapy which will help over time but in the meantime I'm in constant pain and not much can be done. I'm still working tho. I figured I might as well be at work in pain where I can be a bit busy and maybe take my mind of things for a few minutes. Hopefully this will start to get a bit better soon. In the meantime I will keep on plowing along! Haven't been doing much stitching at home lately (thanks shoulder!). We have a little group at work that gets together every lunch hour to chat and stitch tho and I am doing some there. I'm hopefully going to get some stitching done this weekend at home tho. I miss working on my projects. I am working on an Ink Circles pattern and I'm just not feeling it. I don't have much done so I think I will stop and start over with something that catches me more. In the meantime I certainly have lots of projects to to keep me busy haha The weather has been a bit better the last day or so. We had a pretty crazy snow storm on Friday that just passed...Mother Nature's April Fools Joke I guess :) I am starting to get super excited tho....because................. Spring Retreat is coming up!!! YAHOOO!!!!!! Happy Dance!!! I can't wait to get away and relax, stitch, laugh, stitch, eat, stitch, eat, stitch...well you get the picture haha. Last fall when we went up a few of us went on Thursday instead of Friday which gave us an extra day. Those that can are going to do the same thing next month when we go too. I just can't wait! I"ve been doing some soul searching and making some lists for myself....things I want, things I'd like to do, etc. I'm really hoping I can cross at least a few off as the months pass. One of the things is to go on a vacation. I don't think I've been on a realy vacation since I was a kid. Not much fun to go alone but I'm hoping I can maybe find a couple friends to go away with for a few days and do some exploring somewhere.....and if I'm really lucky maybe I"ll meet my Prince Charming and he can take me away on vacation!..hey don't laugh...it could happen! haha Well thats it for now...I hadn't posted in a while and figured I better get at it. So until next post smile often, laugh a lot and enjoy the sunshine!

Has Had It.....WITH SNOW!!!!

Wow! I don't know about anyone else that lives in my part of the world but I've had just about all of winter I care to experience for one year! Its storm after storm after storm! Seriously..we are out of places to put the white shi...I mean stuff :)

Last Friday night we had a real whopper! Saturday morning I had to call my son to come and shovel out the door so we could even get out of the house! He was in snow up to his waist and then had to dig the shovel out before rescuing us (by us I mean me, my landlord and his gf). I've never seen anything like it! But on a happy note...only 20 days until the first day of spring! :)

So not much new to report really. I'm feeling better about things in most ways. In other ways I've decided I'm not gonna worry about it. I am just going to enjoy spending my time with the people who want to spend time with me. They are my true friends and wonderful family. And that is all that is important!

I've been doing some stitching. I dont know if I mentioned it before our local stitching store had a fun idea in their newsletter and I've decided to try it. They suggested to have 4 projects on the go and switch every week...so you work on one for a week then switch, etc. The months that have 5 weeks well the 5th week is a free one to work on whatever you want! I have my 4 projects ready and so far I must say I really like the concept. I tend to get bored when working on something for long periods of time. So this is a great solution!

We also have started a little "lunch and stitch" at work! It started as a couple of us getting together in our lunch room for stitching for an hour. We are now up to 6 of us! We eat then stitch and talk. Its a great way to spend a lunch hour and goes by way to fast! I leave a small sampler project at work that I work on (it doesn't count in my 4 projects).

Other then that I have booked a weeks vacation in March after our March break. I am not going anywhere and have no plans. I just needed a break form work. So I will sleep in, rest, stitch, visit the grandkids, and hopefully get together for a day with my stitching sistas for a day of stitching!

So thats it for now...until next post smile often..if nothing else it makes everyone wonder what your up to!

Feeling.........

Tired, cranky, ticked off, pushed away, not part of, left out and discouraged! That about sums things up in my world!

I definitely need a break from everything. It would be so nice if I could just get away for a few days...sadly it is not financially possible. So I will do the next best thing and just keep to myself until I can sort out these feelings.

The last thing I want to do is say or do something I will be sorry for. So I think I will just have a "vacation from life" for a few days and sort out my feelings and what I can do about them. I'm tired of feeling like everything I say or do is wrong or in some type of battle. I will take my share of the blame but I certainly won't be a martor and take it all. Something needs to give pretty soon or I will do what I have always done when things get like this...simply walk away. Easier in some situations then others (like when its your kids) but I don't think I can take anymore.

There is an old saying that says something like "its better to be alone and lonely then with others and feel lonely". Those aren't the exact words but is pretty accurate on how I am feeling.

So don't I just sound like a happy ray of sunshine!

Until next post be happy and appreciate those that love you...I know I am going to :)

And The New Year Is Off To A Good Start!

Well my previous post had some mention of things I would like to accomplish in 2011. Some will take a longer time to complete but some I am happy to report have been crossed of the list! Small accomplishments but accomplished never-the-less :)

I have finally (after 3 years) started my L&L Angel of Healing! That is my BIG piece I am working on. I am till plugging away at my Ink Circles pattern and have picked up the supplies for a really cute sampler and I've orderd another pattern from my local stitching store that will be in next week. So there are my 4 projects I wanted to work on. The plan is to work on one for a week then switch to another for a week and so one. The intent is to keep me interested and if nothing else give the illusion I am actually accomplishing some progress! Monday is my "switch day"..this week it has been the Angel I am working on. I don't know if she has a name given to her already but I am calling her "Louise" after my mom. It is in her memory that I am working on it so it seems only fitting :) I'll keep you posted on the progress and someday when I figure out how to post pics I'll do that to haha

In other updates I have gone back to WW to help me shed some unwanted weight. It has worked for me in the past so I'm hoping with some hard work and determination I can be successful again. I need to get out and exercise more too....I'm currently looking at some options for that...but holy crap gym memberships are not cheap! I may have to resort to "mall walking" during the winter. Althoug I l ike the idea of going to some type of fitness class too. For right now I am just going to concentrate on getting my eating habits under control and in a couple weeks I'll get to the exercise part....baby steps for me!

Other then that not much new going on her. My son is moved out and in with his friends so I have some quiet back haha. We certainly have been getting lots of snow lately and I'm not a fan f that..but it IS winter so I guess I should expect that

Well it time for stitching I think and my favorite TV channel...The Food Network! I love those shows!

Till next post smile often...if nothing else it makes everyone wonder what you are up to! :)

Happy 2011!

Here we are....another year over and a new one beginning. Lots of wonderful things happened in 2010 and some not so good. I am doing my best to focus on the good things and say goodbye to the bad.

I seem to be starting off the New Year a bit off balance. I have no doubt I will find my feet again...I usually do. There are things I want to work on in myself, my home, my job, my life. One thing at a time I will hopefully cross things off of my list. Yes I made a list! Not "resolutions" but just a list of things I would like to do/see/accomplish/achieve in the year ahead. With some determination and putting one foot in front of the other I know I can do it!

I've spent the last 2 days upset and crying over things that are happening. My feelings got hurt and that is never fun. I was thinking yesterday and I actually had a "ah ha" moment! Funny how all of sudden the light just comes on and things you have been driving yourself crazy over just up and slaps ya in the head! haha....Me being me when my feelings get hurt or I feel like I'm being left out my immediate reaction is to put up walls. Now anyone that knows me knows my walls do NOT come down very often or easily. So it is an absolute sign of trust when I do let it down and let anyone in. This is with any type of relationship (romantic, friendship, family, etc.). Is it the best way to react to those situations? NOPE! But its how I have done it for years and old habits are very hard to break! I am going to try a different approach tho and just let it go and do what I can to help myself get thru this rough patch...that is really all I can do and hope things will work themselves out. I have faith and trust that they will :)

I will be starting my "healthier me" plan again! It didn't work out so well last year but thats ok..I'll put the chips and dip down yet again and start over haha...I swear I have no idea how they seem to end up in my grocery cart...my theory is someone in the store puts them there when I'm not looking and then I don't see them when they go thru the cash..not sure how accurate that is but you never know! haha...The old saying "if you feel good on the inside the outside will follow" is my inspiration for this...that and the fact my health is suffering a bit..nothing life threatening or too too serious but I need to take care of myself before it does get out of hand. I'm going to go into it with no real expectations other then to make better choices and get some exercise in. Will I still find those pesky bags of chips in my grocery cart? OF COURSE!!! It just won't be every week haha...Moderation..something I have trouble with haha

I'm also going to work on getting out more. I am single and would love to change that and one thing I have discovered is that that is not going to happen with me sitting home all the time. Surprise of all surprises they aren't just coming up and knocking on my door! So I am going to get out more and hopefully that will help things along.

My little apartment could use some TLC so that is another thing I am going to work on. I am going to take one room at at time and pick up everything I would like to do in that room and then do it! My first room is the bathroom...1. because its the smallest and will be a good one to start off with and 2. it really needs some love haha

In the stitching department I am finally (after 3 years of having it around) going to start my "Angel of Healing". As soon as I figure out how to post pics and such on the blog I will do that. It won't be the only project I work on. I tend to get fed up and bored if I don't switch projects out here and there. But at least it will finally be started..kind of appropriate project to start considering how I have been feeling lately..I just thought of that..huh!

So thats whats been going on with me and thats what is going to be going on with me. I'm not much of a writter and my words don't make much sense to most I'm sure. I just write what my fingers type most times and hope for the best haha

So until next post may the New Year bring all of you lots of happiness, good health, love and laughter!

Tis the Season........

Yes...tis the season....for stressing over shopping, baking, wrapping, and money! I really dislike this time of year. For me it always means stressing over money and making sure I get everything that needs done done. Not always easy thats for sure! It somehow always gets done but I still stress over it!

On another note...my son who has been camped out on my couch for the last few months has finally started to move stuff out and into the place he is moving (sharing with a friend).....wait...whats that I hear....oh I know....IT ME DOING MY HAPPY SONG AND DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love the boy to death but man he gets on my nerves at times! He has some growing up to do thats for sure! His 23 year old dreams....don't exactly match up with his pay cheque thats for sure! Oh well he will live and learn....and we all know if he needs to come back home for a bit the door will be open......as much as he drives me crazy I will miss having him around...even tho he isn't around much...(and if anyone tells him I said that I will deny it!).

Other then that not much to report. My great "plan" has certainly fallen to the wayside thats for sure. I do have some ideas for getting back on track but so far thats as far as I've gotten. Its too hard this time of year with all the baking and food and drink and such.....I mean it IS Christmas! :)

I did have an exciting night on Sunday! I was home alone eating my wonderful homemade spaghetti sauce and pasta. Shortly after I finished eating I noticed a strange feeling in mouth and throat...interesting I think to myself........then a short while after that I feel like my tongue had doubled in size....huh......isn't that weird.....finally it got a bit difficult to breath...OK now I panic! So off to the ER I go! No idea what it was but I definetly had an allergic reaction to something! I have been making that sauce for years exactly the same way with exactly the same stuff....the only thing I did different was used fresh mushrooms and added a few spices and a bay leaf...all things I've eaten before. Well I will be carrying Benydryl in my purse from now on thats for sure! It certainly scared the crap out of me! Needless to say my son has a LOT of spaghetti sauce to eat! haha

I haven't been doing much stitching lately. I did organize my stuff to start my Angel of Healing by L&L. I was in my local stitching store a while back and I over heard on of the ladies talking about projects and getting bored. She said what she does is she has 4 projects on the go and changes projects every week....that way she never gets bored and yet sees progress on her projects. For months that have 5 weeks she uses the 5th week as "free" week to work on whatever she wants. I thought that was a really good idea so I am going to start doing that after the holidays and I'm not so busy. The Angel will be one, I will continue working on my Ink Circles project and plan on digging out a couple smaller projects as well. It sure sounds good in theory...lets hope I can put it to good use!

Well I must run and get a couple things done. It will be an early night for me tonight. I'm beat since I didn't fall asleep till very late (or should I say early this morning) and was up early for work...so a nice early night of going to bed early and reading for a bit sounds like just what I need!

Until next post.......don't forget Santa is watching! :)